[This journal entry is from May 23rd, 2006. As always, Jay’s current thoughts about this entry are in the post script – Dawn]
The Consciously Created Blueprint
We each have a blueprint, a design by which we live our lives. It’s typically something that was created long ago, unintentionally and erroneously, yet we accept it completely and often without question. It is only by consciously creating and living by a new blueprint that we can be happy.
No one ever achieved happiness by obeying what another person or other people told or showed them. Others can help us, others can guide us; but the only person who can learn who you truly wish to be and become it is you.
The blueprint is a great analogy for many reasons. A blueprint is a representation of reality, it is a plan. It includes the foundation, the structure, the plumbing, the wiring, etc. It can be tweaked here and there when foresight didn’t reach far enough. It can, and must, be referred to constantly. And it absolutely must be created consciously.
We all have dreams, fantasies. We may keep them closely guarded, locked away in our hearts; or we may talk about it all the time, to anyone who will listen. The important thing is that we acknowledge, to ourselves, that they needn’t be dreams forever. Dreams and fantasies are actually future memories, things that some alternate version of yourself is doing or has done, in a dimension near you.
Our conscious mind can see it, can even feel and smell and taste and touch it… yet for some reason the subconscious mind just doesn’t buy it. It’s not possible, you don’t deserve it, you’ll never be that kind of person… that’s the kind of crap your subconscious believes.
And why? Why should your subconscious mind believe that you should be any less fulfilled than your dreams would have you be? Well, because that’s what you’ve told it. Somehow, at some point, you failed to guard against the negativity that the people who taught you how to live life bombarded you with.
It is not the subconscious’ responsibility to judge whether or not something is right or wrong. It’s so much like a trusting child, and whatever you tell it to be true it accepts without question. It then uses this information to build your blueprint. If you don’t believe me, look at your life. It has been designed precisely according to the specifications of the blueprint you’ve drawn around your beliefs.
It’s not bad, it’s not wrong. There’s no need to scream or cry or beat your fists against the wall over it. I mean, you can if you want; just don’t labor under the delusion that that will change anything for too long. Be glad that you recognize the existence of your blueprint, that you see that you live your life unerringly by it… and that you’re ready to learn to draw a new one.
When I started to deliberately study life, I sort of did it backwards. The first thing I needed to know was what kind of Universe I was living in. It took quite a while before I wondered about what kind of world I was living in, even longer to be curious about the country my body was born in, and longer still before my circle of concern expanded (contracted?) to learn about the body my consciousness inhabited. In my defense, it didn’t seem backward at all. If I couldn’t make sense of the Universe, how could I ever make sense of myself? Why would I want to?
It made it easy to construct a code of ethics after studying philosophy and sociology and psychology. I was glad I hadn’t pursued some career path straight out of high school that would later require that I put aside my compassion for another human or for all humankind so that I might put food on my table. I was grateful to find myself in my early twenties without having legally bound myself to someone due to feelings of affection, and even more grateful to have avoided a situation where I had to teach a child with half of my DNA about a world I didn’t understand. I had a laundry list of what not to do and no idea what I wanted to do.
Time kept passing, one day flowing into the next, and I was living a blueprint I didn’t know I was living while trying to come up with a plan to create my plan. Spiritual architecture is much like physical architecture in that your first blueprint is only your best blueprint if you never draw another. It’s different, however, in that the physical architect is usually living somewhere else while the new building is being built. Spiritual architecture can be more like tearing down, designing, rebuilding and living in what already feels like a bit of a cramped space all at the same time.
Self-analysis and self-acceptance have to be wielded as carefully as any other power tool, and utilized in their proper places. Both are practices that evolve, becoming more complex in step with the architect. Designing is different than building, and wielding a hammer or saw without skill and good judgement is dangerous and creative on a whole new level.
It helps me to combine a couple of concepts here. First, the body is a temple. Let’s give each body a temple and construct three holy places in the center of town. You will have to breathe and drink and eat, so learn about these things and practice your learning every day when visiting the temple of your physical body. Making your way day to day in the world should give you opportunity to feed your mental and spiritual bodies with conceptual material to work with. All of these three temples benefit from spending time deliberately making things better in any one of them, and it is from the strength of these three temples that all of the surrounding structures draw. Let’s call these structures houses, borrowing from astrology, and create a nice town to live in whose central square is not just a holy place but the fountainhead from which all of the other structures naturally flow.
I don’t think we need twelve houses here. The self is in the temples, relationships can fall under one roof and include everyone. If you want to build a house for your enemies, that’s your call. If anyone wants to be my enemy, they have to build their own house for such things; I see everyone as my brother or sister until they go out of their way to treat me as if they want me to be an enemy; then I see a brother or sister that I can only expend minimal energy on letting flow from my life and my thoughts. All relationships can erupt from the central theme summed up by two questions: “Does this relationship support one or more of my temples?” and “Does this relationship hinder progress in one or more of my temples?” A yes and a no gives you good reason to make room.
Career and contribution are two themes that can and should live under the same roof; entertainments and deliberate exploration of one’s secret self should be seen as a necessary self-indulgence for all but the most elevated among us, but should probably have a room in this house instead of a house all to itself.
In the end, the three temples of body, mind and spirit should all have times of their own while playing a role in the relationship and career houses. The architect must have a house, a place to go overlooking the complete design that constantly changes under his or her direction. These three houses revolve around the three temples, supporting them as if they were the lifeblood of the architect’s interior landscape… because they are. We draw every day. We build every day. We learn every day. We are spiritual architects, drawing blueprints that are maps that take us to new worlds.
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