Why I Love To Write #003 – Stumbling Backasswards Into A Story

The story of the master and the apprentice has always been an important one to me. Whether it’s Yoda and Luke Skywalker, Dan Millman and Socrates, Richard Bach and Donald Shimoda, or any of the countless other stories like them out there, I love them. The student/teacher archetype is one of my favorite ways of learning and being entertained at the same time; it’s no wonder I chose it for the setting of my first book. I didn’t even mean to do it that way; it just sort of happened, and I watched it unfold much like the reader would.

All I had to work with at first was an empty notebook, a clicker pencil, a story that wanted to speak to me, and a first scene. That first scene played out in my head, first in a dream and then in my daydreams. Soon I couldn’t meditate or concentrate, and I knew I had to write it. I was bummed, since it was all I had to work with; finally, resigned, I sat down and got to work. Continue reading “Why I Love To Write #003 – Stumbling Backasswards Into A Story”

#TodayIAmAWriter – The Hollywood Sign

As you probably know, Dawn and I went to Los Angeles two weeks ago. What you may not know is that the first time we went there together, some serious silliness ensued. I drove down from wherever I was working, to see Great White perform yet again. Dawn flew down from Portland, to meet up with me and see the show together. We hadn’t gotten around to figuring out that we were supposed to be together all of the time yet; in our twenties, we were both fiercely independent people with agendas of our own. We weren’t smart enough yet to realize that we could weave our agendas together to make sure we both got more together than we did apart…but that’s a love story; this is a silly one.

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The Hollywood sign, as viewed from the Hollywood Highway.

Continue reading “#TodayIAmAWriter – The Hollywood Sign”

I Completely Disagree

[This journal entry was originally written on October 29th, 1997. As always, you can read what Jay thinks about this subject now in the Post Script.]

Wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you’ve done, whatever you do; you deserve happiness. Don’t get caught in a bitterness trap, or a fearful cycle, or even a comfortable cycle. Whether it’s “I’ve done this nearly my whole life; I can’t make up for the wrongs I’ve done, I can’t change…” or if it’s “Well, I’ve done well, nobody despises me, plenty of people love me, I’m all right like this…”, you’re falling for the same trap. Whether you’re perfectly comfortable or perfectly miserable, you can find a greater degree of happiness, and all it takes is acknowledging love. Continue reading “I Completely Disagree”

The Silent Observer, Part III: The Observer In Action

[This journal entry was originally written by Jay on October 22nd, 1997. As always, you can read what Jay thinks about this subject now in the post script – Dawn]

Imagine being that silent witness. Imagine seeing everything you see as if for the first time, not through screens of interpretation. Imagine being free from the pain of the past and the fear of the future. Imagine being someone who never manipulated on any level, and could not be manipulated on any level. Imagine pure Awareness. It’s always there, waiting to be discovered, waiting to be tapped. Continue reading “The Silent Observer, Part III: The Observer In Action”

The Clean Slate (and Other Myths)

[This journal entry is from October 16th, 1997. As always, Jay’s current thoughts about this entry are in the post script – Dawn]

     Not many of us are fortunate enough to be raised in Spirit, by people who live in Spirit. Let me rephrase, lest I am misunderstood: everyone lives in Spirit, yet few do so consciously and intentionally, therefore the amount of Spirit they acknowledge in their daily life is quite by accident, and subject to falter unexpectedly.

     Please don’t fault these people for not living in Spirit. Everyone does the best they can with what they have, and those who stray furthest from the Path suffer their own endless torture. They may have raised and taught you in the wrong ways, but it was inevitably the result of being raised and taught the wrong ways themselves, by people who were raised and taught in the wrong ways. It can be traced back into prehistoric times, and you can blame great grandaddy Og for your misery, but I guarantee that will do nothing but pass it on. Continue reading “The Clean Slate (and Other Myths)”

The Mind’s Errant Thoughts

[This journal entry is from February 22nd, 2005. As always, Jay’s current thoughts about this entry are in the post script – Dawn]

The Mind’s Errant Thoughts

     It’s amazing, the kinds of thoughts that the mind can choose to indulge in. So many useless, pointless, mindless thoughts that seem to come from nowhere and lead to nothing. It’s a bit comical, and it could be a bit embarrassing if it wasn’t seen as being comical instead.

     I know there’s a great deal of negativity in many minds, and I’m quite grateful to have worked through a lot of that. I vaguely remember what it was like, though… I’d crack a joke, no one would think it was funny (or no one would get it), my thoughts would tell me I was stupid and lame; and I would feel stupid and lame. Next time I’d keep my mouth shut and my thoughts would tell me I was stupid and lame for not taking advantage of such a great opportunity to crack a joke. When your mind has a negative lean to it, it doesn’t really matter what you do; your mind will find and exploit the negative aspect of whatever you did or refrained from doing. If there’s no negative aspect to the situation, your mind will manufacture one. Continue reading “The Mind’s Errant Thoughts”

What It Means To Me… Selfish, Part 1: Selfish

“What It Means To Me… Selfish”

     I spent my whole childhood hearing the people in charge tell me not to be selfish. It turned out, however, that I couldn’t buy a car, rent an apartment or put food on the table with selflessness when my childhood was over and such things became up to me. It seemed there was a line that needed to be drawn.

     Living a completely selfless life from the cradle to the grave would turn out one fundamentally useless individual. To learn a new skill we must possess a desire to learn a new skill, and bettering yourself is surely something you do for yourself. If you better yourself in order to better serve others, being of service to others is your selfish desire. You want it. That’s selfish. It’s a healthy kind of selfish, but it’s still selfish. Continue reading “What It Means To Me… Selfish, Part 1: Selfish”

The Spaces Between

[This journal entry is from February 17th, 2005. As always, Jay’s current thoughts about this entry are in the post script – Dawn]

The Spaces Between

     There is a space between any outside stimulus and one’s inner response. There is yet another space between one’s inner response and outer expression of that response. These two spaces, how we use them, if we use them; and how conscious said uses of them are, largely defines who we are in the world.

     (Disclaimer: I know there’s no real difference between ‘inner’ and ‘outer’, and that who you are inside will inevitably determine who you are in the world. I’m just trying to make that very point by dancing around the point in my own special way. Bear with me.)

     (Disclaimer disclaimer: if that disclaimer makes no sense to you, ignore it and read on. You’ll understand one day.) Continue reading “The Spaces Between”